Feb 21, 2018 –
This may not seem like a big deal, but to me it is. If you know me at all you’ll know that I’ll take any chance I can get to be sappy and sentimental so you best believe that I’m about to get sentimental about my birthday.
The thing about this birthday is it isn’t just another birthday. THIS IS A WHOLE DECADE CHANGING BIRTHDAY! …and with that comes the death of my teen years. (I cried typing that).
Being a teenager was safe- you could always use the “I’m just young and stupid” card when you wanted to get out of something or messed up. BEING A TEENAGER WAS THE TIME TO BE DUMB! So- with that being said, I decided I would pursue photography FULL TIME! I figure that if I don’t get out of the 9-5 schedule now, I’ll be there for the rest of my life… that thought alone scares me enough to just make the jump.
I am definitely excited to turn 20, but something about no longer being a teenager makes me a little sad. Most of my favorite memories and inspiring moments have happened while I have been a teenager! Its kinda like the end of an era… now is the time to really grow up.
I was thinking of all the things I’ve accomplished since my last decade turning birthday- obviously a lot! Its funny though, it feels just like yesterday I was turning 10 having a fear factor birthday party with all my neighbors.
Since then, I’ve:
- Graduated elementary school
- Went through puberty
- Entered the young womens program in church
- Graduated middle school
- Did 20 billion years of girls camp
- Discovered I loved being in leadership and found my calling for the rest of my high school career
- Learned new sports and became a part of a lot of different teams with people who I grew to love
- Became old enough to date and go through all of the ups and downs of love and war
- Made and lost a lot of friends
- Found a passion for creating- I LOVE writing and photography!
- Worked a lot of different jobs
- Learned more about myself
- Gained a testimony of all the things I know to be true
- Graduated high school
- Moved away from home to go to college
- Met my husband, dated him, got engaged and MARRIED!!!
- Started my own business from the ground up
- Left the country for my first time
Ahh that word just sounds scary! BUT its just another phase of life. AN EXCITING PHASE OF LIFE! However, if you think about it, in the next 10 years, I am going to have a totally different life. Just looking back at when I first turned 10, its almost like I lived on a different planet! In these next 10 years is when things get serious! I am excited and I’m sad and I’m scared! But I know that some of the happiest moments are going to happen in the next ten years!
I hope to…
- Start my family- I want to be done having babies by the time I am 30.
- Have a successful photography business where I can choose my hours
- Have my own home
- Get a college degree
I think the thing that scares me about turning twenty is the fact that TWENTY YEARS HAVE ALREADY FLEW BY! The other night I was talking to Austin and bawled my eyes out about this because time is going TOO FAST! We all joke around about how terrible life is and we can’t wait to be old, but it was until I admitted it out loud that I’m scared how fast time is going that I realized I LOVE MY LIFE! Like really, I was full on sobbing telling Austin how I love being alive. TIME NEEDS TO SLOW DOWN!
But more importantly, I need to slow down and ENJOY every moment I can. Life slows down for none of us so might as well enjoy this crazy ride.
In my little existential crisis I was literally just rambling about everything that I was scared about to Austin (he’s the best listener.. boys take notes. Just let your girl talk even if it doesn’t make sense). Out of no where, I found out why I was scared. With tears falling out of my eyes, I looked at Austin and said, “What if I’m doing life all wrong? What if I mess it up?”
I WAS STRESSED ABOUT DOING SOMETHING THAT I HAVEN’T EVEN DONE YET!
As I said that out loud I got really quiet and sat on our bed and thought about it. And then I thought about it all day at work.
Everyone’s life is so different. Just because someone who is 22 already has a college degree doesn’t mean that they are any better than me- someone who has only done 2 semesters of college. Just because so and so already bought a house and started a family doesn’t mean that I suck.
MAYBE that works for them and the fact that it doesn’t work for me in my life at this exact moment IS OKAY! Wanna know why? Heavenly Father didn’t design us all to be exactly the same. Our lives are all different. UNIQUELY designed by our Heavenly Father to give us the life He knows we need to progress and grow. Honestly, how cool is that?
Sure, we all have accountabilty to take us on different journeys in our life. But I know as long as we focus on the things that matter most- we can’t mess up our whole entire life. We may stumble at times, but each day is a new opportunity to try to be better again.
So anyways, farewell teenage years! You were fun! I’m so excited to enter my twenties and make so many new memories! Before I know it, I’ll be waking up in a new life that is going to seem unrecognizable to my life right now. As scary as that seems now, I know there will be so many moments of happiness!
The thing about change is that we don’t even recognize it. It happens to us everyday. So I’m going to make these next ten years a change for the better. Hello twenties!