Jan 24, 2018 –
A wise man once said, “CAN’T STOP THE FEELING!”
Justin Timberlake, you da man.
Feeler Intervention
Feeler: (n) Someone who feels an emotion about 10x stronger than the normal person. Sometimes can’t control the feeling until it slowly affects them in other aspects of their life.
synonyms: Sensitive, delicate, fragile
Hello, my name is Sarah and I’m a feeler.
(This is the part when you say, “Hi Sarah!”)
I’ve been a feeler my whole life. It’s not something I can always control and at times it has made me physically sick. IT’S A BLESSING AND A CURSE.
Everyone thinks that being sensitive is a bad thing. It doesn’t have to be! It’s all about the way you look at it.
At the same moment that you can feel really terrible, you can also feel SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY! Basically I have a wide range of emotions.
For 90% of my life I thought feeling things really deeply wasn’t good. Don’t let people see you sad, you’ll look weak. But also don’t let them see you be so excited and happy, you’ll look naive. Sooooo… I would bottle things up until about twice a year I would have a mini break down. This was NOT HEALTHY.
I think this generation kinda romanticized being “heartless” and “closed off” so I thought that was what I was supposed to be like and I didn’t understand why I was feeling so icky inside. It wasn’t that I wasn’t expressing my emotions, I wasn’t even letting myself FEEL them.
I would tell myself that my feelings weren’t hurt and that I was fine. Or that I just didn’t care and I wasn’t sad or stressed or blah blah blah (okay not blah blah blah because the other emotions are important and we need to recognize them). This would make me super sick. I would get really bad migraines to the point where I would throw up because I was so conflicted on the inside and wouldn’t let myself feel the feelings that needed to be felt. But let me let you in on a little secret…
The energy we put into fighting a feeling we don’t want to feel is worse than feeling the feeling itself.
Let me say that one more time for the people in the back- The energy we put into fighting a feeling we don’t want to feel is worse than feeling the feeling itself.
It’s exhausting, and a battle you’ll never win until you just feel the frickin feeling.
This year was rough on me. I felt more emotions in the last 12 months than I have in my whole life! (I could thank birth control for that though… heyyoo crazy hormones!)
There were some days where I was so so so happy and couldn’t beleive how perfect my life was
but then there were other days where I wanted to rip someones head off
Eventually bottling up my emotions caught up with me and I realized I couldn’t do that anymore. So you wanna know what I did?
I let my self feel that feeling I didn’t want to feel.
Okay that sounds crazy. What does that mean?
I’ll show you.
Close your eyes.
Become aware of you heart. (Guys I’m not a hippy… this helped me)
Once you can feel your heart, think about what it looks like.
Let it open! I could picture big ugly walls all around it just slowly coming down. Then I started feeling all the feelings I had been closing off.
Anger. Loneliness. Self doubt.
Wanna know what I did? I cried. A lot. And then I talked to my husband about it. Actually, let me rephrase that, I didn’t just talk to him about it, I let him see the little vulnerable conflicted Sarah that I thought no one would ever want to see. THIS IS IMPORTANT! Talk to someone about what you’re feeling. This was hard for me. I didn’t want my problems to become someone else’s problem. But I don’t even know why I was surprised to find that all my husband wanted to do was help me feel better and just listened. Sometimes all you need is someone to listen to you.
It felt icky. It felt uncomfortable. But ya know what? After I let myself feel those things, it felt like a giant ton of bricks had been taken off my chest. I could feel darkness leave my heart and get replaced with light. THAT’S RIGHT! LIGHT!
I felt like a new person! So, since then, whenever I have a feeling I don’t want to feel, instead of harboring it and letting it infect me internally, I just deal with it right away. That means I’ve cried more in the last 3 months than I have in my whole life, but that’s okay!
I hate crying, I really do. It makes me feel like a weirdo. But I’ve learned to accept myself and that is a big way that I express my emotions. I thought when I cried it was because I was really sad, mad or scared- which is pretty normal.
BUT GUYS, HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU’VE BEEN SO HAPPY?!
That’s gotta be one of the best feelings. Being so overwhelmed with happiness that it literally bursts out of you!
This is where being a feeler is fun! It’s helped me in a lot of different ways in my life. It allows me to love more, be super compassionate and empathize easily. PEOPLE NEED PEOPLE LIKE THIS IN THEIR LIVES. Don’t be afraid to be a feeler, because honestly, someone needs your big heart to show them love in a way they probably haven’t felt. Another cool trait about being a feeler, is that a lot of times you can feel other peoples emotions too. Let this help you HELP THEM.
I truly believe that being a feeler has let me feel little glimpses of what heaven will feel like. Pure love, joy and peace. Let yourself feel those emotions. Don’t get so caught up in the moment that you forget to slow down and FEEL- like really genuinely feel with your heart. Let this good feeling fill your heart with light.
I really hope that someday, I’ll be able to feel in my own heart, a heart full of light. And I hope that other peoples’ hearts get filled with light by sharing some of the things I’ve learned.
[…] the beginning. If you’ve been following me for awhile, you might remember this post last year. (Its ok to feel) I was going through a roughhhhh time. I didn’t think there was going to be a light at the end of […]